An Ode To A Perfect Morning 

Waking up to the bright sunlight gently filtering through the blinds, I open my eyes refreshed and ready to greet the day. My cat is purring gently—a steady comforting motor. I rise slowly and pat through the home, opening blinds and making my caffeinated beverage of choice. I might prepare some oatmeal and go for a run before eating…or I might skip the run and go right into breakfast and spend the rest of my first hour awake on reading or quietly getting organized. 

But who am I kidding? While that may have been mornings of past days, I now have a one-year-old toddler and my cat is not nearly that patient waiting for his breakfast! 

Mornings (and life generally) has changed for me, and, while obviously having a child doesn’t apply to everyone, I think it is similar to have a chaotic work period. Here’s what I have been noticing: 

Routines and Organization

I will admit that I am not great in setting (and keeping!) personal routines. I am, however, very good at making and crossing off to-do lists, but my execution during the day can be hectic…well, not always optimal. I gave up on the time blocking concept long ago, as things can run overtime or, when given some flexibility on task order, my brain sometimes functions better on a different item at the time to what is scheduled. 

Plus, now that there’s a young child in the mix—well, there’s now a large element of unpredictability. It’s been a topsier-turvier year.

I much prefer the to-do list…and I have now started color coding items according to importance. The ones in red are the most important: meetings and critical tasks that have to happen that day. Yellow are things that should ideally happen and are often constant work items that need to be done a bit everyday. I’m a professional musician, so for me yellow items include some individual instrument practice and music score study. I use the color blue for the least important items. These items are generally reminders of things that need to be done soon, but perhaps in the next few days. They could also include exercise or other personal care items that aren’t as critical that particular day. For instance, I could go for a run that day or the next day if it doesn’t really matter to me. 

In any case, I usually try to attack some of the red items first thing in between childcare. These are usually easy quick emails, etc, which I can just cross off for the day over breakfast (or while feeding my kid breakfast). After that, I try to spend time with my child—taking them to the playground, etc. And that morning family time I usually include as a red item to still feel productive—and it IS important after all. 

If I get up earlier, then I’ll try to fit in a run or some quiet time before the breakfast and other items. However, as I tried to switch to an earlier routine (it seems I’m a night owl by nature), my child also decided to get up earlier! It was honestly a bit disappointing and tiring…and this leads me to my next point. 

A Good Morning Starts the Night Before 

In my half awake blurry-eyed state, some more experienced (older) parents told me I needed to go to bed earlier. I needed more sleep. They were absolutely correct—not that that stopped me from getting annoyed with them. Did they really understand what was going on in my home and life? Did they do the same job professionally? 

But yes, I needed to go to bed earlier. I needed more sleep overall. I was not made to function on an average of 5 hours of sleep. I started getting stricter with the evening. My child was put to bed earlier. Dishes were done earlier (sort of…my husband usually wants to do those and he’s not as strict with timekeeping). I’d make sure to have at least 1-2 hours of child free time to do last bits of chores, work, and actually read a book uninterrupted. I switched my exercise to the morning (when possible) to not do this during this time. 

This time became my bedtime routine. I try to make sure all of my activities are done so I can light a candle and unwind with a book for 15-30 minutes before going to bed. I like this time because it allows me a time that isn’t focused on business or family—it’s truly quiet time for myself. And then I feel like I usually sleep better after as well. 

Of course, I’m not perfect and I am prone to pitfalls. I miss my bedtime reading some nights. Things can pile up. Sometimes I still sneak work in close to midnight. But I now try most nights to make time for reading—or sometimes just watching a film with my husband. After all, my mind needs a rest too from the daily tasks and—sometimes—mayhem. 

Coffee/Tea (A Ritual to Enjoy Everyday) 

I’ve been on quite the coffee kick for the last year or so, so I love to have a latte (or two) every day. I love to sip a latte over a book or desk work (those emails!)…or while I’m writing a blog post (I’m sipping a latte as we speak!). If I’m able to get to bed at an earlier time and still somehow wake up before my toddler (which rarely happens), I may try to grab that latte then, but lately it’s either been during my kid’s midday nap or while half playing/half working with my kid in their playpen. The latter is not ideal at all—not only is my concentration split (and I really just usually have to stop work and pay full attention to the playtime), but I also have to watch my coffee cup and move it repeatedly as the one-year-old chases it (RIP white rug). If possible, and especially if I exercise that morning, I do try to get the coffee during the midday nap period so I can truly enjoy it—and the caffeine can kick in while the post-exercise euphoria wears off. 

In any case, the coffee—or tea—is an important part of my day. It’s a ritual I look forward to—especially if I can get a bit of peace with it! I also enjoy having the caffeine—sometimes my brain doesn’t fully start until half a cup into the beverage. 

It is important to note that I do try to limit it to a maximum of 2 beverages a day and before 4pm. Any more than that usually doesn’t bode well for me—I get the jitters and it can impact my sleep. Granted, sometimes I feel so tired that I ignore my guidelines and it’s fine. 

Hoping For Even Better Mornings to Come

Being a parent of a very young child comes with plenty of changes—and even more to come. While I try to remind myself to enjoy the child’s different stages (they won’t go back to being that young again), it can still be hard not miss my former life, as imperfect as it was then too! However, through all the chaos that can happen morning, noon, and night, I do know that quiet mornings will happen again. My child will go to school and grow up, and then maybe mornings will be too quiet. I don’t do very well with big changes, so a lot of this year—and really I think any adult’s years—is learning to ride with the change. You don’t have to love it, but you have to try to make it work for you in some way. So while I miss the old me, I’ll also figure out my current life and manage as well as I can. 

For those of you who are child-free, I imagine it being the same in terms of a hectic work period—priorities and routines change for a bit to compensate what’s needed to make it through. Possibly with another coffee—and a whiff of lavender to relax. Things will gets sorted again.